erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2014-07-19 09:37 pm

Unfinished fic: Calyx

Title: Calyx
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: "Stephen" and family; eventual "Stephen"/OCs; Jon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Young "Stephen" doesn't have the greatest parents, but a supportive neighbor changes the course of his life. Comfort fluff with a twist.

(This is a WIP that I stopped properly writing in late 2011, with the unfinished scenes loosely sketched-in. It's never going to be finished, at least not as originally intended, but it should hold together well-enough to be worth posting. Warning for character death, though it's only from old age.)

( He didn't even go to church, although Mama said he was a nice man: a little eccentric, but still a Poor Dear Thing for reasons that nobody talked about. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2013-03-02 03:11 am

Third Monday fic: I've Got No Strings To Hold Me Down

Title: I've Got No Strings To Hold Me Down
Rating: G
Cast: Wyatt, Aasif, Jessica, John Oliver, Larry, Jon, various celebrity cameos
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Third Monday fic for [personal profile] count_nickula. (On the AO3.) After Wyatt delivers his final TDS segment, he goes off to travel the world. But he will always be with his Daily Show friends in some form. Specifically, felt.

( 'This week has been awesome. Crazy awesome. But I gotta move on. The road just keeps calling to me, you know?' )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2013-02-24 11:57 pm

Fic: John Oliver's Infinitely Recursive Fanfiction Adventure

Title: John Oliver's Infinitely Recursive Fanfiction Adventure
Rating: PG
Cast: John, others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Based on a true story.

(The real-world John Oliver is advised to avoid reading this one, lest he rip a hole in the space-time continuum.)

( Read on DW | Read on the AO3 )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-12-19 08:36 pm

Fic: The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Hotel Room

Title: The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Hotel Room
Characters/Pairings: O'Reilly/Jon/"Stephen"
Rating: NC-17
Contents: Antagonistic sex, foot-fetish-y content
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

The obligatory post-Rumble threesome. Come on, after Jon dominated all over the place and then climbed into O'Reilly's lap, with Stephen doubtlessly watching from backstage being very confused over whether he was supposed to feel anxious here or just turned on, someone had to write it.

This is probably one of those fics that's going to get flocked (on DW) and members-locked (on AO3) in a week or so. I have spare AO3 invites again, so if you need an account, just let me know what email address to send it to.

( Read on DW | Read on the AO3 )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-11-30 09:25 pm

Sentinel crossover: All My Roads Lead To You (4/5)

Title: All My Roads Lead To You (4/5)
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", correspondents
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In the midst of more dreams and a new case, the tension between Jon and Stephen crosses a line.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

( 'Honey, I know you both mean well, and that he's been very helpful to you in some areas...but when it comes to people I'd rather not have knowing the details of my sex life, it's him and any Republican senator at the top of the list.' )
erinptah: A map. (writing)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-11-22 06:48 pm

Omegaverse fic: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (1-5)

Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (1-5)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2 (whole series on the AO3).

The 2007 WGA strike and a hastily-planned wedding blow through Jon and Stephen's lives at about the same time. All while Stephen is more hormonal than usual, and Jon is struggling as a beta to rise to the alpha-shaped expectations being placed on him. Will they ever get a good night's sleep again? Will they at least manage to settle on a baby name?

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "insomnia."

( Read on Dreamwidth | Read on the AO3 )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-11-02 11:12 am

Sentinel crossover: All My Roads Lead To You (2/4?)

Title: All My Roads Lead To You (2/4?)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: 9/11 references, vague sex
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, pre-Jon/"Stephen", kids, Jimmy Fallon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Jon the Sentinel is back in the U.S., and trying to settle into his newly awakened senses, not to mention his new civic duties. Stephen meanwhile is dealing with his own sense of overload, as the walls he's developed to keep out other people's emotions start buckling under the strain.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2

( Plus, the whole thing was overwhelming Stephen's own brain with warm and fuzzy feelings, and he had to focus on quieting them down. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-09-17 03:41 pm

Fic: And He Only Reveals What He Wants You To See

Title: And He Only Reveals What He Wants You To See
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Charlene, Jon/"Stephen", Jon/"Stephen"/Steve
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

...I'll post more normal fic soon, I promise. Just happened to have this finished. Companion to And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind). Also mirrored on the AO3.

Stephen, an omega, has always been secure in one thing: he's guaranteed to be loved. Specifically, by the nearest available alpha, once every three months. So even though his parents don't approve of him not settling down, and Jon doesn't want a serious relationship, he gives every appearance of coping just fine.

( His plans were vague but huge: breeze through this stupid history degree while making his mark as a performer, have a wedding with Charlene and a couple of her babies at some point in there, and then juggle being a fabulous television star who broke barriers for omegas everywhere with taking care of his angelic and photogenic children. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-09-13 11:19 am

Haremverse fic: Concubindecision 2004

Title: Concubindecision 2004
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Sam/Jon, Jon/"Stephen", Rob Corddry/Ed Helms, Sam/Jason
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

Haremverse backstory, starring Team TDS 2004. When Jon abruptly decides to [try to] become a kinder, gentler sex-slave owner, he'll have to do some work, and take on some personal risk, before Sam trusts that he means it. Ditto for her buddies Rob and Ed. (Stephen buys it immediately, but he's, well, Stephen.)

( 'What, did he read some trashy romance and take it a little too seriously?' )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-08-27 03:09 pm

Fic: And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind)

Title: And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: A/B/O. Just...A/B/O.
Characters/pairings: "Even Stepvhen", Jon and "Stephen" Colbewart
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In which Stephen's religion says some wacky things, Steve is shouty but ultimately helpful, and Jon is theoretically keeping order but in reality just trying to keep up.

So, yeah, this is fakenews Alpha/Beta/Omega fic. (Executive summary: it's like a BDSM AU, but built on a wider grab-bag of seemingly disparate kinks, often including going-into-heat, dub-con, mpreg/fpreg, knotting, rigid biology-based social roles, D/s, and breeding/mating. Although this story is about 5% sexuality and 95% worldbuilding.) Jon, a beta, doesn't date omegas. So far, nothing he's seen of Stephen is making him regret this policy.

References a 2007 Emmys sketch and a Billy Joel song. Also here on the AO3.

'Catholics believe that the ability to get pregnant is a gift from God. Heat is just God's way of making really, really sure you take that gift out of the packaging and try it on, instead of trying to sneak it back to the store.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-08-15 08:04 pm

Haremverse fic: In Vino Veneum

Title: In Vino Venenum
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia/Kristen, Sam, ensemble
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

A haremverse prompt from [personal profile] kribban: "Sam, as the head concubine is in charge of punishing the others if they break the rules. Olivia does, is punished in a creative way, and Kristin comforts her." Even without Jon's orders controlling the household, their precarious safety takes plenty of rules and efforts to keep up. (The title, assuming I've translated it right, means "in wine, poison.")

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "poisoning."

( Sam and Olivia manned the kitchen, advising Beck's cooks on portion sizes, Jon's favorite seasonings, and, hopefully, not sabotaging his immune system and leading him to a grisly demise. )
erinptah: (The Newsroom)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-07-13 12:23 am

What Do You Wear To A Geek Wedding, Anyway?

Title: What Do You Wear To A Geek Wedding, Anyway?
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Olivia & family, Aasif, background Olivia/Kristen and Kristen/Rich
Warnings: Mental health issues (anxiety, OCD)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Olivia's a bridesmaid at her girlfriend's wedding. It's not great for her insecurities. Luckily, she has an Asian-ish friend around to give her a pep talk.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "panic attacks".

( If you hadn't read the right Uncanny X-Men issues, you would have no idea that Emma Frost had ever worn something as modest as Kristen's bridal gown. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-06-28 02:12 pm

Ficlets: Not Sure If Breakthrough + Snowflake + Pulpit

A sequence of ficlets written for prompts at [community profile] punditfic and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Not Sure If Breakthrough
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", OC
Prompt by [personal profile] kribban: The personal notes of Jon and "Stephen's" marriage counselor.

( Re-evaluated considerations re: abuse. Encouraged J to employ reality testing. )


Title: Snowflake
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: An image (at the end)

( One of Stephen's creepy dimensional portals must have been holding the thing, and was now discharging it bit by bit: enough metal to form the frame of a mid-sized pup tent, and in almost as complicated a configuration. )


Title: Pulpit
Rating: G
Cast: "Stephen", family
Prompt: "Warning signs," specifically from [personal profile] politicette: "Something about baby!"Stephen" and how if someone (Charlene?) were paying more attention, they would have honed in on a specific incident or two and caught how miserable and unstable he was growing up to be."

( Stevie's standing on tiptoes behind the pulpit, on the velvet-covered footstool used by the kids who get called up to recite a prayer or light an Advent candle. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-05-06 02:14 pm

The Hogwarts Question

For a good two years now I've been meaning to write up a proper set of Thoughts On TDS/TCR Characters in Hogwarts Houses. And now it actually exists! With links to relevant clips and everything:

* On andthatstheword
* On The Zen and the Damaged
erinptah: (Integra)
[personal profile] erinptah2012-01-10 02:50 am

Five men Stephen had sex with (and one he's still waiting on)

Title: Five men Stephen had sex with (and one he's still waiting on)
Rating: NC-17 (sex, language)
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen"/various (Tad, Dan Savage, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, John Oliver/Wyatt); Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A thoughtful examination of the different facets of Stephen's character, as illuminated through his interactions with people who represent a variety of personality types and relative positions to his own.

...either that, or a bit of gratuitous slutty!"Stephen" fic. You decide.

(Interesting tone I'm setting for the year, here. ¬_¬)

( Stephen's on his back on the floor, the crown of his head inches from the foot of the heater, its rumbles and groans blending with his muffled gasps and the blood pounding in his ears. )
erinptah: (college lesbian)
[personal profile] erinptah2011-12-28 01:17 am

In Summer's Parching Heat

Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

( 'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )
erinptah: (Birds)
[personal profile] erinptah2011-12-24 01:30 pm

Castles In The Sand - Battered Rose

Title: Battered Rose
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen"/Jon, Olivia/Kristen, assorted correspondents
Warnings: Sex, emotional abuse, (skip) consent issues, choking
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

By, um, popular demand: the alternate ending to the Castles In The Sand in which Jon refuses to give Stephen up.

(Or, to put it another way: an extended argument for why the canon ending is the happy one.)

( "Mine. In body and heart, to do with as I please. That's the deal, right?" )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah2011-12-19 12:06 am

Castles In The Sand, epilogue + soundtrack

Title: Castles In The Sand (Epilogue)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon, c!Stephen/Tad/Amy
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

And so our story ends! Before the end of the year, even, which is a relief as it was one of my 2011 fannish New Year's resolutions.

Amazing beta job by [personal profile] queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( Five months later. Friends are reunited, future plans are laid, and, of course, our troublesome magical baby is finally born. )


Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: "Stephen", Olivia, and friends (Castleverse AU)
Title: Turrets & Moats

Official soundtrack for the heroes of the Castle Down universe, a fantasy slavefic AU featuring all that is best in life: soulbonds, unicorns, and magical fempreg.

Thanks to [personal profile] politicette and [personal profile] queenfanfiction for song suggestions!



( Far beyond these castle walls, where the distant harbor meets the sky )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah2011-12-17 12:36 am

Silly Songs With Stephen - Oh Santa

Title: Silly Songs With Stephen - Oh Santa
Tune: VeggieTales - Oh Santa
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Elvis Costello (narrator), four special guests
Rating: PG (innuendo)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A Colbert-centric remix of the heartwarming Christmas story originally performed by CGI vegetables. Stephen and his cookies are ready for Santa, but other visitors keep knocking at his door.

( Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a fake news host like me? )
erinptah: (You Are Not Alone)
[personal profile] erinptah2011-12-15 01:03 am

Castles In The Sand, chapter 10

Title: Castles In The Sand (10/10+epilogue)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon, c!Stephen/Tad/Amy, Bobby, Alan, Jay, Meg, Buttons, Rebecca Drysdale, (skip) a tentacle monster, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Paulina Porizkova, Helen Thomas, Martha Stewart, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Reza Aslan
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For those of you who have the misfortune not to recognize Rebecca Drysdale...run, don't walk, to watch Time Traveling Lesbian.

Amazing beta job by [personal profile] queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( Some relationships are patched up, others not so much, and the H.M.S. Report reaches the End of the World. )