erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: I've Got No Strings To Hold Me Down
Rating: G
Cast: Wyatt, Aasif, Jessica, John Oliver, Larry, Jon, various celebrity cameos
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Third Monday fic for [personal profile] count_nickula. (On the AO3.) After Wyatt delivers his final TDS segment, he goes off to travel the world. But he will always be with his Daily Show friends in some form. Specifically, felt.

( 'This week has been awesome. Crazy awesome. But I gotta move on. The road just keeps calling to me, you know?' )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
A sequence of ficlets written for prompts at [community profile] punditfic and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Not Sure If Breakthrough
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", OC
Prompt by [personal profile] kribban: The personal notes of Jon and "Stephen's" marriage counselor.

( Re-evaluated considerations re: abuse. Encouraged J to employ reality testing. )


Title: Snowflake
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: An image (at the end)

( One of Stephen's creepy dimensional portals must have been holding the thing, and was now discharging it bit by bit: enough metal to form the frame of a mid-sized pup tent, and in almost as complicated a configuration. )


Title: Pulpit
Rating: G
Cast: "Stephen", family
Prompt: "Warning signs," specifically from [personal profile] politicette: "Something about baby!"Stephen" and how if someone (Charlene?) were paying more attention, they would have honed in on a specific incident or two and caught how miserable and unstable he was growing up to be."

( Stevie's standing on tiptoes behind the pulpit, on the velvet-covered footstool used by the kids who get called up to recite a prayer or light an Advent candle. )
erinptah: (college lesbian)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

( 'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )
politicette: (Default)
[personal profile] politicette
Title: He Knows
Characters: Jon, liberal!"Stephen"
Rating: G
Summary: Written for [personal profile] themistoklis's prompt: Santa is real! (any)!"Stephen" and Jon.
Word Count: 149
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Expand“Santa is a fundamentally bourgeoisie fantasy, a tool of the neo-colonial capitalist kyriarchy designed to brainwash our children into consumerist slavery.”  )

Title:
Season's Greetings
Characters: Jon/liberal!"Stephen"
Rating: G
Summary: Written for [personal profile] erinptah's prompt: Liberal!"Stephen"'s Christmahanukwanzakah party.
Word Count: 235
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

ExpandSeason’s Greetings: Stephen Colbert’s Generic Secular Nondenominational Winter Party Fest: 2011 was sure to be Stephen’s biggest soiree yet. He was sure of it.  )


Title: Deck the Halls
Characters: Jon/"Stephen" (Jon/Lorraine)
Rating: PG
Summary: Written for [personal profile] gaudy_night's prompt: Jon/"Stephen", home for the holidays.
Word Count: 283
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

ExpandLaughing, Jon leaned against the side of the cabin and watched the family frolic in the snow.  )

Title: Carp How the Bells
Characters: Jon/Stephen
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: Written for [profile] underthepiano's prompt: Jon/Stephen, holiday shopping
Word Count: 201
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

ExpandHe pulls on Jon’s hand, clutched tightly in his, and inadvertently yanks him over to the display of some of the most… unusual… Christmas curios Jon has ever seen.  )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Rating: G unless otherwise stated
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The content is the product of my imagination, and the characters aren't mine.

Just finished an all-TCR set of fills for my card in [community profile] hc_bingo. A couple were fics, which have already been crossposted, and the rest are fanart:

Title: Do I Dare--? (homesickness)
It's not a gay thing. Honest. Stephen just happened to be missing South Carolina at the time, and Jon walked by with a peach, so Stephen couldn't resist a taste. That's a normal thing for heterosexual guys to do. Right?

Title: Tentacolbert (attacked by a creature)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Tentacle sex.
In which Stephen finds love (and, the next day, slime) in unexpected places, and Jon should really learn to be more sensitive to cultures different from his own.

Title: Not A Southern Belle (heat stroke)
I honestly couldn't tell you whether Stephen's really fainting, fake-fainting to induce Jon to fuss over him, or fake-fainting because he believes it's The Done Thing for a South Carolina peach in a lovely dress.

Title: Fear Puppetry (brainwashing)
Who's puppeting who?

Title: Are You Sure This Is Super Serum? (experiments by evil scientists)
Rating: PG
Sinister!bearded!Jon has brought Stephen to his secret lab, with promises of Captain-America-style super serum. Now Stephen's starting to have second thoughts, but it may already be too late....
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Jon Knows
Rating: R
Contents: (skip) Non-con
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A depressing drabble (100 words). Another of those through-a-glass-darkly twists on the OTP dynamic.

( Jon Knows )


Title: Check In
Rating: G
Contents: (skip) Mental hospitalization
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", OC
Disclaimer: Same as above.

A second dismal drabble. Inspired by the lack of tosses lately.

( Check In )

Title: Scars
Rating: PG
Contents: Past abuse
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

And a third, though this one is on the right track. Same universe as this picture (borderline NSFW).

( Scars )
erinptah: (You Are Not Alone)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Archnemesis
Rating: PG
Contents: Innuendo
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Drabble (100 words) inspired by [personal profile] kribban, wondering if Stephen still considers Jon his archnemesis even after they get together.

( Archnemesis )


Title: And It's F@#king Golden
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

Stephen reacts to Jon's recent exchange with an Emmy.

( And It's F@#king Golden )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: New York Marriage
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Shortly after a bill is signed into law, Jon gets a very loud phone call.

Also here on DA.

'Let me guess. This is about the New York Senate's latest vote.' )

Vox Populi

May. 9th, 2011 11:27 am
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Vox Populi
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Jon, Stephen (the real one!)
Disclaimer: Work of parody; not real; not mine.

For the "make a happy ending" challenge, with a prompt from [personal profile] ntjnke: Stephen loses his voice. Forever.

( Stephen grins as he unpacks. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: E.B.B.G.A.S-T-T-F.F.
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Olivia
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Based on this video in which Olivia introduces her charity work, and clearly foreshadows her destiny to one day have "Stephen" as an arch-nemesis. (Or at least a foil.)

( 'What are you even doing here?' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: May The Horse Be With You
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, animals
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Written for the picture prompts thread, in which [personal profile] w_thit gave me this.

The background of the setting is an AU I've been kicking around in my head. Late eighties; slight fudging of ages, but not much. Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are running their upscale dog salon in California, and have started to bond with kid!Olivia, who lives nearby. (Olivia goes to school with kiddie versions of some of the other correspondents, but that doesn't come up in this bit.)

( The girl made a beeline for the door, quickly enough that she didn't see Jonathan wince (and Lady McPawsington try to claw him for mishandling her, though he had wisely clipped her nails first thing). )
erinptah: (Birds)
[personal profile] erinptah
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: "Stephen"/"Jonathan"
Title: Somewhere Greener, Somewhere Warmer

I've been on a roll with this monologue (transcribed here) lately. Here's a musical version.



'Step two, make him fall in love with you.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Prawn Today, Hair Tomorrow
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Rounding the week off with a belated fill for the prompt "Irresistible," from [livejournal.com profile] colbertstark6.

( 'Don't lie. You've been checking out my hair all morning.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: My Little Pony
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

[personal profile] kribban picked "Fighting" from a prompt table, and I decided to make something fluffy out of it. (Literally.) Takes place in the Senateverse.

( As security concerns go, having the mundane details of your schedule for the next fortnight leaked to the press was not high on Senator Stewart's (D-NY) list. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Ratings-Grabbing For Two
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon, various audiences
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A week-long slice of mpreg. The first line is ripped from canon; the rest of the fic takes that and runs with it.

( 'Coming up next!' interrupted Stephen, hands planted on the desk. 'More very important personal news that Jon Stewart doesn't have time to pay attention to!' )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: And Make It Snappy
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen"/Barry
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Written a while ago for [personal profile] politicette, who wanted me to pair "Stephen" with someone other than Jon, such as, perhaps, the barista under his desk.

( 'Double whipped grande black mocha venti latte with cream and sprinkles, on the rocks.' )
erinptah: (Maggie)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Cougar Hunting
Rating: G (dart guns are G-rated, right?)
Cast: Kristen, Olivia, Sam
Disclaimer: Work of parody. Not real; not mine.

Inspired by this segment: Kristen takes Olivia on a hunt for the most dangerous game.

'Are you ready?' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: California Boys
Cast: "Stephen"/Jonathan
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Characters are the Report's. Not real; not mine.

A scene from Stephen's time in California with "Jonathan" (transcribed here). Same continuity as the fifth scene in Eyes Like Dead Birds.

Stephen just wants to have a carefree life full of sunshine, puppies, and fantastic sex. Alas, his boyfriend's serious side cannot be kept in check.

'We're upscale gay dog groomers. We're not supposed to think about anything serious.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Daily Show
Subject: Kristen Schaal/Olivia Munn
Title: You Were Born For Stardom's Crown

Olivia's fiery hotness often obscures the fact that she is a raging geek. Kristen is an adorable ginormous dork even when she's writing a sex book. Now watch me turn these facts into a shippy mix about Olivia's ascent to TDS, in defiance of the fact that they have yet to appear on screen together.

Graphic textures from this site. High-res cover art here.



( I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change. What if you're normal and wanna be strange? )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Don't Stop Believin', Stephen, Stephen
Rating: G
Music: Journey, "Don't Stop Believin'"
Footage: Original. (Suck it, Viacom!)
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. Labor of love, not for profit.

A chance song overheard on the radio takes Stephen back to his younger days.

The artwork is entirely hand-drawn, with rotoscoping on the guitar-playing (pencil test; full color). Outfit based on the ensemble from the "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)" video.

ETA: Download link!

Embed under the cut )

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