erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (4/5)
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", correspondents
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In the midst of more dreams and a new case, the tension between Jon and Stephen crosses a line.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

( 'Honey, I know you both mean well, and that he's been very helpful to you in some areas...but when it comes to people I'd rather not have knowing the details of my sex life, it's him and any Republican senator at the top of the list.' )
erinptah: A map. (writing)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (1-5)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2 (whole series on the AO3).

The 2007 WGA strike and a hastily-planned wedding blow through Jon and Stephen's lives at about the same time. All while Stephen is more hormonal than usual, and Jon is struggling as a beta to rise to the alpha-shaped expectations being placed on him. Will they ever get a good night's sleep again? Will they at least manage to settle on a baby name?

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "insomnia."

( Read on Dreamwidth | Read on the AO3 )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: And He Only Reveals What He Wants You To See
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Charlene, Jon/"Stephen", Jon/"Stephen"/Steve
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

...I'll post more normal fic soon, I promise. Just happened to have this finished. Companion to And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind). Also mirrored on the AO3.

Stephen, an omega, has always been secure in one thing: he's guaranteed to be loved. Specifically, by the nearest available alpha, once every three months. So even though his parents don't approve of him not settling down, and Jon doesn't want a serious relationship, he gives every appearance of coping just fine.

( His plans were vague but huge: breeze through this stupid history degree while making his mark as a performer, have a wedding with Charlene and a couple of her babies at some point in there, and then juggle being a fabulous television star who broke barriers for omegas everywhere with taking care of his angelic and photogenic children. )
erinptah: (daily show)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Concubindecision 2004
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Sam/Jon, Jon/"Stephen", Rob Corddry/Ed Helms, Sam/Jason
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

Haremverse backstory, starring Team TDS 2004. When Jon abruptly decides to [try to] become a kinder, gentler sex-slave owner, he'll have to do some work, and take on some personal risk, before Sam trusts that he means it. Ditto for her buddies Rob and Ed. (Stephen buys it immediately, but he's, well, Stephen.)

( 'What, did he read some trashy romance and take it a little too seriously?' )
erinptah: (You Are Not Alone)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castles In The Sand (1/10)
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon/c!Stephen, Hodgman, Miss Jenny Slothodor (a cavern singer), Sam(/Jason), Wilmore/Oliver
Warnings: Sexy sex; gratuitous bathing scene. Eventually: (skip) pregnancy, potential abortion, references to past traumas, magical fempreg, more sex, mortal peril
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

It's the third installment in the magical fantasy epic. If we've learned anything from Narnia—not to mention Pirates of the Caribbean, Shrek, and even Tolkien—that means it's time for a voyage to the End of the World. (Almost everything else about this story would probably make C. S. Lewis spin in his grave, but what can you do.)

That's right, folks, the Castleverse threequel is finally out of the "wistful hint-dropping" stage and into the "actual posting" one :D

Amazing beta job by [personal profile] queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Title comes from the Philosopher Kings song. To get up to speed on the prequels, see the Castleverse Table of Contents.

( Stephen and Olivia parlay their geekiness into a job; Olivia and Kristen parlay their geekiness into hot sex. But just when everything seems to be going swimmingly, Kristen's fire powers decide to take a holiday. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Jon Knows
Rating: R
Contents: (skip) Non-con
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A depressing drabble (100 words). Another of those through-a-glass-darkly twists on the OTP dynamic.

( Jon Knows )


Title: Check In
Rating: G
Contents: (skip) Mental hospitalization
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", OC
Disclaimer: Same as above.

A second dismal drabble. Inspired by the lack of tosses lately.

( Check In )

Title: Scars
Rating: PG
Contents: Past abuse
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

And a third, though this one is on the right track. Same universe as this picture (borderline NSFW).

( Scars )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (1/4?)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, the WØRD
Rating: R
Warnings: Alien!sex, tentacles, mpreg. Eventually: (skip) abortion, imprisonment, threatened brainwashing, mortal peril, aliens shaped like celery.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Beginning of the expanded version of the alien!"Stephen"/pregnant!Jon ficlet. A draft of this languished on my hard drive for almost two years, until I finally realized what it was missing: secret agent Olivia.

( 'I'll have you know I've had hundreds of mating partners! And they all agreed I was a very considerate lover. It's not my fault you were born without %%(!*!) ridges.' )

Pink Ropes

Apr. 26th, 2011 12:59 am
erinptah: (sailor planet attack)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Pink Ropes
Pairing: Jon/happy!"Stephen"
Rating: soft R (bondage, naked chibis)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

Inspired when some folks at [community profile] asexual_fandom bemoaned the lack of asexual BDSM.

Even the pinkest and fluffiest version of "Stephen" is kinky. He just does it in a way so sweet it demands Hello Kitty censor bars.

'I never would have guessed that you were into this sort of thing.' )
erinptah: (waldo-carmen)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace: the Despair That Slumber'd remix (4/4)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: Same as on State of Grace.

Final scenes from the Expectingverse-with-daemons. Plus some illustrated profiles of the daemons themselves, because I'm addicted to backstory.

One | Two | Three | Four&.

( 'Why didn't you tell me they were here?' he demanded, over the baby's anguished sobbing, threaded with the kitten-formed daemon's heart-rending mews. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace: the Despair That Slumber'd remix (3/4)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: Same as on State of Grace.

Rushing toward the SoG climax from the Expectingverse-with-daemons. Stephen and company are finally out enough that they can begin to openly explore their system's rules for daemons. That still doesn't make it easy for their loved ones to accept, much less understand.

Illustrations: Jon and Avivah, Charlene and Renoir, and baby George and his daemon.

( 'She has bits of fur missing. Not so most people would notice, but I know where to look. Honeypie's been biting, hasn't she? All that time, you were putting up with....' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace: the Despair That Slumber'd remix (2/4)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: Same as on State of Grace.

More scenes from the Expectingverse-with-daemons. This part skips ahead a bit, to the stage when Charlene and Jon each know important pieces of Stephen (and company)'s mental state, but the biggest revelations are yet to come.

ETA: The link now actually goes to the second part ^_^;

( The blocky scene had the same basic layout as the main stage, a bespectacled stick figure labeled 'Stephen' sitting behind the C-shaped desk at its heart, while an unlabeled Honeypie watched him from over by the wall. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace: the Despair That Slumber'd remix (1/4)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: If you've read State of Grace, you know the drill.

Inspired by this epic subthread with [livejournal.com profile] w_thit on what TCR, and specifically the Expectingverse, would be like if everyone had daemons.

What follows is a sampling of scenes rewritten to fit that universe: one from Expecting, a bunch from the beginning of State of Grace. Stephen's daemon appears to be a kinkajou named Honeypie. But the closer he gets to Jon, the more of the truth begins to slip out.

The title phrase, like "his dark materials", is from Paradise Lost (book 4, line 23):
Now conscience wakes despair
That slumber'd,—wakes the bitter memory
Of what he was, what is, and what must be
Worse; of worse deeds worse sufferings must ensue.


( Jon had always thought he had a fairly robust libido, but it was his partner who half dragged, half carried him up the stairs, and all but threw him onto the bed before tumbling down after him. And though Avi was rolling about on the floor like an overgrown kitten, Honeypie was suddenly friskier still, darting and dodging and climbing all over her. )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (6/8)
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, Jason, OCs
Warnings: (skip) Sexual assault
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The villains' appearances and some of their lines are pulled from this incident (videos here; partial transcription here). Yes, it's another Thinking and Drinking with Lizz Winnstead; no, it did not go as well as Rachel Maddow's version.

Crois Dóiteáin is Gaelic, and means something like "cross of the blaze." Or, less poetically, "cross fire."

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Our heroes meet their captors, while their rescuers race against time. )
erinptah: (legendary)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: Through NC-17
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen"/Jon, Jon/Tracey, Tracey/Charlene, past "Stephen"/Lorraine and "Stephen"/others, Steve/Nancy(/"Stephen"), Tad/Bobby, families, OCs, various cameos from both shows
Disclaimer/Warnings: Follow the link.
Continued adulation for: marvelous beta [personal profile] stellar_dust

When he tries to commit all at once to taking care of a newborn, reconnecting with childhood best friend Charlene, and starting a relationship with Jon, Stephen begins to lose the tight grip he's kept on his past. He's going to need the support of his friends and loved ones more than ever, as he and all the other people he's been face down a hurricane of repression, trauma, pain, pleasure, hurt, loss, healing, and Hannah Montana.

Featuring 108,000 words of story, 8,000 of bonus meta, three new mixes, and half a sketchbook's worth of illustrations. Plus 175% more continuity, characterization, and consistency than the original version, all for the same low price.

A whisper at the back of his mind (don't listen to him don't let him scare you), and he almost missed what Jon said next: "Stephen, are you still having memory problems? Not just for the, uh, the stuff you used to do, but more recently?"
themistoklis: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert with ILU and <3 signs (Jon/Stephen)
[personal profile] themistoklis
Title: Certain Unalienable Rights
Summary: "I'm not working!" Jon dipped down to brush his mouth over Stephen's. "Tell me about the Declaration, baby?" he murmured. "I want to hear you tell me."
Character/Pairing: "Jon Stewart" (Beck!Jon)/"Stephen Colbert"
Rating: R
Warnings: References to past abusive Dom/sub relationships
Length: ~2000 words
Disclaimer: Disclaimer )
Notes: Heartfelt thanks go to [personal profile] politicette, who reassured me that the ridiculousness of the scene was appropriate to the characters, and shored up the edges of this tale. Also, if you want to hear it, America the Beautiful. The right version that I sang in elementary school :| All these fancy rockstars and their fancy versions.

America, America! / God shed his grace on thee
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: State of Grace
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R (this chapter); NC-17 (overall)
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.
Endless thanks to: marvelous beta [personal profile] stellar_dust

The rewrite that's been a long time coming.

The beginning of this story picks up shortly after the final chapter of Expecting. "Stephen" has a new baby, a new marriage, and the love of a good man — so, naturally, this is when he starts to fall apart.

Should I crosspost individual chapters to this comm? I feel like anyone who's interested might just be watching my fic journal, but I don't know if that's actually true. Anyone with a strong opinion, feel free to speak up.

George stared around at the lavish décor with what his father declared to be a clear appreciation of platinum-level tastes, until he started whimpering. Stephen grabbed a spare diaper and hauled him off to the bathroom without comment.
azephirin: (Default)
[personal profile] azephirin
Title: His Hammer Is My Axe

Author: [personal profile] azephirin / abi z.

Fandoms: Political RPF / Harry Potter / Jossverse (and Supernatural, but that doesn't really figure here)

Summary: In the White House, you can be on the pitcher's mound or you can be in the catcher's position.

Rating: R for the presence of Rahm Emanuel

Pairing: Barack Obama / Rahm Emanuel

Word count: ~1100

Author's note: This is set in the Cracked Stars Shining 'verse and is entirely the product of my brain rubbing its (metaphorical) hands together and chortling with unholy glee.

Disclaimer: I can state with certainty that this never happened. Also, none of the copyrighted characters belong to me.





( I wake up some mornings hating me too. )
themistoklis: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert with ILU and <3 signs (Jon/Stephen)
[personal profile] themistoklis
Title: Boston Marriage
Authors: [personal profile] politicette, [personal profile] themistoklis
Summary: Joan and "Stephanie" run away from home to get married, and it's going to be totally awesome.
Character/Pairing: cis!girls "Stephanie" Colbert/Joan Stewart (genderbended from "Stephen" Colbert, Jon Stewart), assorted "Colbert" family members, assorted original characters
Rating: R
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNINGS for domestic violence, homophobia, alcohol use
Length: ~26,300 words
Disclaimer: Disclaimer )
Notes: Thank you so much to [personal profile] paperscribe for betaing this piece for us. We started it so long ago we legitimately do not remember most of the first half, but apparently it's in okay shape.

Part One: She'll have to relearn her signature.

Part Two: "I've kind of been picking paint colors out for our first place since sixth grade."

Part Three: It's not lying when you don't actually say anything.

With accompanying gorgeous art by [personal profile] erinptah! (Slightly NSFW.)
farfalla: This is a picture of our wedding in Massachusetts (Default)
[personal profile] farfalla
Title: A Good Wife
Pairing/characters: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Raven
Rating: R
Summary: It's not gay if RAVEN fancies Jon, right? (Sure, "Stephen"...)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author: Farfalla Caqui
Word Count: a little over 400


Mrs. Raven Stewart reclined comfortably in her chair, admiring the shapely legs that she had propped up in front of her. )
twtd: (Default)
[personal profile] twtd
Title: And He Left the Linen Cloth...
Author: [personal profile] twtd
Rating: R
Fandom: Pundit RPF
Pairing: Rachel Maddow/Ann Curry, Ann Curry/Brian Williams, implied Rachel Maddow/Ann Curry/ Brian Williams
Summary: The amount of seersucker and madras and perfectly pastel garden party dresses on display verged on garish, on parody, but it was just understated enough to avoid that fate. Ann wouldn't have allowed anything so gauche at her party anyway.

Rachel is attending a garden party where everything isn't a perfect as it seems.

AN: This takes place in the same universe as A Girl in Every Port but reading that isn't necessary as long as you know that Rachel is a lieutenant in the Navy and Keith owns a bar.
Disclaimer: None of this is real.
Warnings: None

And He Left the Linen Cloth...

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