erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Sweetness Follows; or, The Remarkably Low-Angst Transition of Joan Stewart
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, transphobia, references to bullying, bad accents, outrageous drag names.
Characters/pairings: Jo(a)n(/Tracey), "Stephen", John Oliver, Wyatt, Kristen
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

What it says on the tin. Jon switches names, starts on hormones, deals with mood swings, and gets support from almost all quarters, in the office and out. Stephen has a rocky time with the whole idea, but who didn't see that coming?

Last-minute amnesty fill for [community profile] queer_fest, for the prompt: (skip) Any fandom, any MtF character, why she doesn't want surgery--a girl can have a penis dammit! This should NOT be a problem!

In spite of the timing, it's been in progress since back when that was an [community profile] lgbtfest prompt. Takes place around spring/summer of 2009.

Related stories: Transverse

( 'Do you know how rare true ballsiness is? How could you jeopardize our country by making that resource even more scarce? And in a time of war, too! I should call Homeland Security on you!' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
After a couple years of noninspiration (or at least, nonmotivation), I finally finished a new vid :D

PreviewTitle: Sexy, Naughty, Daily
Footage: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Jon Stewart Show, The Larry Sanders Show
Music: Tata Young, "Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy"
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Wyatt, Jon/Hodgman, Jon/John Oliver, Jon/various, Sam/Jason, Jason/John Oliver, Jason/Wyatt/John Oliver, John Oliver/Aasif, John Oliver/various, Kristen/Larry, "Stephen"/audience, "Stephen"/Fonda, "Stephen"/bear, "Stephen"/Emmy, "Stephen"/food, "Stephen"/various, with special guest appearances from Olivia, Rob Riggle, happy!"Stephen", Julian the dancing cameraman, a variety of guests, and Gary Shandling. It's that kind of vid.
Disclaimer: This is a fair-use transformative work; the original material is not mine.

Two words: Peabody Award. (Two other words: short shorts.)

DailyMotion | MegaUpload (.avi, 3:37, 54.3 MB) | Website (with lyrics)
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: The DM of +4 Ohana
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Swearing, foreplay, references to IRL childhood angst, corruption of the youth
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon[athan], Olivia, Kristen, Demetri, Wyatt, Sam(/Jason)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Trouble threatens to break up the most beautiful gay dog-grooming couple in all of 1980's California. Can Olivia, with the help of her quirky multi-ethnic posse, figure out a way to save it?

Or, more seriously: a story about three people trying to find a way to balance each other out, plus the friends who play D&D with them.

( 'Their love is beautiful and true like a Disney movie. Stephen even has pretty princess eyelashes! They're meant to be!' )
erinptah: (Birds)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: The Cock Ring of Quetzalcoatl
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex; biting; bad puns.
Pairings/Characters: Kristen/Rich
Disclaimer: This is so not mine, I didn't even write it.

The following is a real, honest-to-gosh excerpt from The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex, by Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist. It's ridiculous porn about the two of them, in the form of an archaeologist AU featuring time travel, a hard-to-explain POV, the purplest of purple prose, and space icicles.

>We were nine days deep into an archaeological dig where we were working as professional bone-dusters. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Prawn Today, Hair Tomorrow
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Rounding the week off with a belated fill for the prompt "Irresistible," from [livejournal.com profile] colbertstark6.

( 'Don't lie. You've been checking out my hair all morning.' )
erinptah: (Maggie)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Cougar Hunting
Rating: G (dart guns are G-rated, right?)
Cast: Kristen, Olivia, Sam
Disclaimer: Work of parody. Not real; not mine.

Inspired by this segment: Kristen takes Olivia on a hunt for the most dangerous game.

'Are you ready?' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Daily Show
Subject: Kristen Schaal/Olivia Munn
Title: You Were Born For Stardom's Crown

Olivia's fiery hotness often obscures the fact that she is a raging geek. Kristen is an adorable ginormous dork even when she's writing a sex book. Now watch me turn these facts into a shippy mix about Olivia's ascent to TDS, in defiance of the fact that they have yet to appear on screen together.

Graphic textures from this site. High-res cover art here.



( I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change. What if you're normal and wanna be strange? )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
[personal profile] ptahrrific
Title: Castle Walls (7/8)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, everyone and the kitchen sink
Warnings: Lots of fire, (skip) Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

Pay no attention to the slapdash nature of the legalese in this part. (Hopefully you weren't reading this for the law drama, either.)

(Crossposting directly from the fic account, as I'm on a borrowed computer and can't be switching in and out much.)

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Kristen and company bring the pwn, but the last trap isn't sprung yet. )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (6/8)
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, Jason, OCs
Warnings: (skip) Sexual assault
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The villains' appearances and some of their lines are pulled from this incident (videos here; partial transcription here). Yes, it's another Thinking and Drinking with Lizz Winnstead; no, it did not go as well as Rachel Maddow's version.

Crois Dóiteáin is Gaelic, and means something like "cross of the blaze." Or, less poetically, "cross fire."

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Our heroes meet their captors, while their rescuers race against time. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (5/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, John/Larry, Sam/Jason
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The honorifics are Japanese, or at least the American otaku versions thereof; -hime is "princess", -sensei is "teacher". Bunshinjutsu is a technique straight out of Naruto. The bit about Olivia's name is true.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Olivia and Stephen find themselves in deep trouble, while Jon and Kristen round up a search party. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (4/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Drugging, kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, Sam, Lizz
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

Lizz's outfit and mannerisms can be seen in this Thinking and Drinking interview, in which she and Rachel Maddow chat about the 2008 primaries and drink cheap beer. It's a bit like IRL crack.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Jon is run ragged, Kristen can't stop fretting, Stephen gets a civics lesson from a stranger in a bar, and Olivia is in more danger than she realizes. )
queenfanfiction: Caption "Is this an AU where they're all lobsters or do they have their pet lobsters fight their battles for them?" (Sherlock fanfic lobster!AU)
[personal profile] queenfanfiction
Title: Fish Tales
Author: [personal profile] queenfanfiction
Fandom: The Daily Show RPF
Rating: PG
Warnings: References to “plundering” and “ravaging” that do not involve actual pirates.
Summary: In which Olivia is a mermaid, Kristen didn’t really need that hat anyway, and there might be “The Little Mermaid” references.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Notes: Written for [personal profile] ptahrrific because she is a reallyreallyreally bad influence (if by “reallyreallyreally bad” you mean “AWESOME”). A companion story to her recent Kristen/Olivia fanart here.

( Fake cut leads to story at Dreamwidth )

[Crossposted to FNFF. Comments left either here or at DW appreciated. ♥ ]
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (3/8)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen
Warnings: Seduction!fail
Disclaimers: follow the fake cut.

This chapter starts to bring in entities whose real-world analogues deserve a more nuanced treatment than, say, Bill O'Reilly. But it's still tropealicious fantasy crack, which doesn't lend itself to subtlety. MST3K mantra at the ready, yes?

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Bodyguarding is no picnic, geek bonding goes awry, Olivia doesn't appreciate the local culture, and somebody doesn't appreciate Olivia. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (2/8)
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia, Kristen, Aasif, John Oliver, Jason(/Sam)
Warnings: Referenced background character death
Disclaimer: Follow the fake cut.

Decorative capitals are still from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( In which our heroes deal with three languages, seven meats, a growing pile of questions, and one traditional comforting bowl of macaroni. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (1/8)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Larry(/John), Aasif, Kristen, Olivia
Warnings (highlight for spoilers): Minion death, vague sex, tacky dancing. Eventually: (skip) kidnapping, sexual assault
Disclaimer: Follow the fake cut.

So, um, I seem to have sequel'd Castle Down.

In the wake of the defeat of Vulpis, Jon has just been knighted, Stephen is following the legal path to citizenship, and all seems to be going well. But there are other countries in this particular jewel-studded fantasy AU, and life is turned upside-down once again when Jon finds himself playing bodyguard to a political refugee from the far-off land of Gi Foar, setting off a clusterf@#k of jealousy, political intrigue, and, yes, more unicorns.

Decorative capitals, as before, from Daily Drop Cap. Title this time around is from a Styx song.

( While Jon and Stephen hope for peace, Aasif and Kristen enact a daring if unappreciated rescue mission. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Down (5/6)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Rob, Ed, Larry/John-O, O'Reilly, Kristen
Warnings: More violence; magical abuse; excess sparkles.

Pay no attention to the slapdash derivative nature of the warfare in this part. (Hopefully you weren't reading this for the military strategy in the first place.)

Decorative capitals, as ever, come from Daily Drop Cap. List of chapters here.

( In which there are battles, feats of daring, unexpected enemies, and even more unexpected allies. Also, unicorns. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Down (4/6)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Jason, Larry/John-O, Lewis, Kristen
Warnings: YMMV self-harm; angst; sad Stephen in snow.
Disclaimer: Follow the fake cut.

So much for this being a tale of helpless!puppy!Stephen. Now he and Jon get to deal, separately, with the fallout from Stephen beating Jon up and taking his stuff.

Cookies to anyone who spots the sidelong references to Narnia and/or Sailor Moon.

Decorative capitals, as ever, come from Daily Drop Cap. List of chapters here.

( Stephen's a lone man on the move through a cold, cold forest. Jon's on the move too, although he had the foresight to bring an army. )

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