Punditfic

Title: Five (And Then Some) Heart Crystals The Death Busters Never Stole
Fandoms: Sailor Moon and crossovers: The Daily Show, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, His Dark Materials, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Kaolinite, Eudial, Mimete, Viluy; Jon, Olivia, "Stephen"; Homura/Madoka; Lyra, Pan; Sharon, Roslin, Tory, Tigh; Four, Sarah Jane
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoils ALL THE THINGS, especially MadoMagi, HDM, and BSG.
Disclaimer: Not a single one of these series is mine. More's the pity.

What it says on the tin. Heart crystals that Kaolinite and the Witches 5 would have gone after, if only they'd existed in the same series.

Most of these involve AU versions of the crossover characters' canon settings. Just pretend those years and areas were the ones in which the Death Busters set up shop...and then ignore all the continuity issues that brings up ^_^;

For my round 2 hc_bingo card, prompts "experiments by evil scientists" and "headaches/migraines".

On Dreamwidth | On the AO3

Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (4/4)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, alien OCs
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) mortal peril
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Jon and Stephen deal with the emotional aftermath of Jon's operation. Ideally, they wouldn't have had to do that while Olivia and Jon were also facing the climax of the fight for humanity's place in the universe...but hey, you work with what you get.

For the record, this hits "arrest" and "brainwashing" on my card for hc_bingo.

Full story: Table of Contents

( 'If you don't make things right with Jon before then, you might lose the chance forever.' )

Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (2/4?)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", the WØRD, Olivia
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mpreg, squicky biological stuff, (skip) fighting over abortion
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Stephen and Jon each have their own separate freakouts about the hybrid fetus incubating in Jon's torso, which finally, painfully, crash together. Olivia provides emotional support along the way, though she's really just here for the alien fish.

...Honestly, any summary for this sounds like false advertising. It's too sober for crackfic, and takes refuge in audacity too much to be serious, and I don't know how to convey the balance (assuming there is one) other than letting the text speak for itself.

Full story: Table of Contents

( 'Men don't express worry. They just roll it up in a ball and compress it into a tiny tight little knot until they can let it out by exploding at Democrats.' )

Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (1/4?)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, the WØRD
Rating: R
Warnings: Alien!sex, tentacles, mpreg. Eventually: (skip) abortion, imprisonment, threatened brainwashing, mortal peril, aliens shaped like celery.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Beginning of the expanded version of the alien!"Stephen"/pregnant!Jon ficlet. A draft of this languished on my hard drive for almost two years, until I finally realized what it was missing: secret agent Olivia.

( 'I'll have you know I've had hundreds of mating partners! And they all agreed I was a very considerate lover. It's not my fault you were born without %%(!*!) ridges.' )

Title: E.B.B.G.A.S-T-T-F.F.
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Olivia
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

For the prompt "Fixed" from politicette. Based on this video in which Olivia introduces her charity work, and clearly foreshadows her destiny to one day have "Stephen" as an arch-nemesis. (Or at least a foil.)

( 'What are you even doing here?' )

Title: Prawn Today, Hair Tomorrow
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Rounding the week off with a belated fill for the prompt "Irresistible," from colbertstark6.

( 'Don't lie. You've been checking out my hair all morning.' )

Medium: Television
Fandom: The Daily Show
Subject: Kristen Schaal/Olivia Munn
Title: You Were Born For Stardom's Crown

Olivia's fiery hotness often obscures the fact that she is a raging geek. Kristen is an adorable ginormous dork even when she's writing a sex book. Now watch me turn these facts into a shippy mix about Olivia's ascent to TDS, in defiance of the fact that they have yet to appear on screen together.

Graphic textures from this site. High-res cover art here.



( I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change. What if you're normal and wanna be strange? )

Title: Castle Walls (5/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, John/Larry, Sam/Jason
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The honorifics are Japanese, or at least the American otaku versions thereof; -hime is "princess", -sensei is "teacher". Bunshinjutsu is a technique straight out of Naruto. The bit about Olivia's name is true.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Olivia and Stephen find themselves in deep trouble, while Jon and Kristen round up a search party. )