erinptah: (sailor moon)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Five (And Then Some) Heart Crystals The Death Busters Never Stole
Fandoms: Sailor Moon and crossovers: The Daily Show, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, His Dark Materials, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Kaolinite, Eudial, Mimete, Viluy; Jon, Olivia, "Stephen"; Homura/Madoka; Lyra, Pan; Sharon, Roslin, Tory, Tigh; Four, Sarah Jane
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoils ALL THE THINGS, especially MadoMagi, HDM, and BSG.
Disclaimer: Not a single one of these series is mine. More's the pity.

What it says on the tin. Heart crystals that Kaolinite and the Witches 5 would have gone after, if only they'd existed in the same series.

Most of these involve AU versions of the crossover characters' canon settings. Just pretend those years and areas were the ones in which the Death Busters set up shop...and then ignore all the continuity issues that brings up ^_^;

For my round 2 [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompts "experiments by evil scientists" and "headaches/migraines".

On Dreamwidth | On the AO3

Open Heart

Sep. 12th, 2011 01:04 am
erinptah: Madoka and Homura (madoka)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Open Heart
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey, Tracey/Charlene, Tad/Bobby, Olivia, families, OCs
Warnings: (skip) heart attack (nobody dies)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Part of the Expectingverse, from the spring before The Interview. The Stewart and Colbert families have practically moved in together, but most of the world still doesn't see Jon and Stephen's relationship for what it is. Stephen thought he'd be okay with that. When Jon has to be rushed to the hospital, he thinks again.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompt "invisibility."

( It wasn't easy to defy the pleading of a dozen eager children, but after three innings Jon begged a rest and all but staggered over to one of Stephen's wicker lawn chairs to catch his breath. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (4/4)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, alien OCs
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) mortal peril
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Jon and Stephen deal with the emotional aftermath of Jon's operation. Ideally, they wouldn't have had to do that while Olivia and Jon were also facing the climax of the fight for humanity's place in the universe...but hey, you work with what you get.

For the record, this hits "arrest" and "brainwashing" on my card for [community profile] hc_bingo.

Full story: Table of Contents

( 'If you don't make things right with Jon before then, you might lose the chance forever.' )
erinptah: (starscape)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (3/4)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, alien OCs
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, (skip) abortion, medical skeeviness, imminent memory wipe
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Stephen, Jon, and Olivia wind up on a secret alien moon base. They're all much too preoccupied to appreciate it properly.

Hat Tip to [personal profile] sarcasticsra for some of the alien design. A further Hat Tip to Octavia E. Butler for writing top-notch serious alien mpreg (warning: body horror, wonky alien consent issues). And while I'm here, a Hat Tip to TDS co-creator Lizz Winnstead, who is currently doing a comedy tour in support of Planned Parenthood.

Full story: Table of Contents

( 'Cut him some slack, Your Alienness; he's never gotten anyone knocked up before.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (2/4?)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", the WØRD, Olivia
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mpreg, squicky biological stuff, (skip) fighting over abortion
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Stephen and Jon each have their own separate freakouts about the hybrid fetus incubating in Jon's torso, which finally, painfully, crash together. Olivia provides emotional support along the way, though she's really just here for the alien fish.

...Honestly, any summary for this sounds like false advertising. It's too sober for crackfic, and takes refuge in audacity too much to be serious, and I don't know how to convey the balance (assuming there is one) other than letting the text speak for itself.

Full story: Table of Contents

( 'Men don't express worry. They just roll it up in a ball and compress it into a tiny tight little knot until they can let it out by exploding at Democrats.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
After a couple years of noninspiration (or at least, nonmotivation), I finally finished a new vid :D

PreviewTitle: Sexy, Naughty, Daily
Footage: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Jon Stewart Show, The Larry Sanders Show
Music: Tata Young, "Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy"
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Wyatt, Jon/Hodgman, Jon/John Oliver, Jon/various, Sam/Jason, Jason/John Oliver, Jason/Wyatt/John Oliver, John Oliver/Aasif, John Oliver/various, Kristen/Larry, "Stephen"/audience, "Stephen"/Fonda, "Stephen"/bear, "Stephen"/Emmy, "Stephen"/food, "Stephen"/various, with special guest appearances from Olivia, Rob Riggle, happy!"Stephen", Julian the dancing cameraman, a variety of guests, and Gary Shandling. It's that kind of vid.
Disclaimer: This is a fair-use transformative work; the original material is not mine.

Two words: Peabody Award. (Two other words: short shorts.)

DailyMotion | MegaUpload (.avi, 3:37, 54.3 MB) | Website (with lyrics)
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (1/4?)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, the WØRD
Rating: R
Warnings: Alien!sex, tentacles, mpreg. Eventually: (skip) abortion, imprisonment, threatened brainwashing, mortal peril, aliens shaped like celery.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Beginning of the expanded version of the alien!"Stephen"/pregnant!Jon ficlet. A draft of this languished on my hard drive for almost two years, until I finally realized what it was missing: secret agent Olivia.

( 'I'll have you know I've had hundreds of mating partners! And they all agreed I was a very considerate lover. It's not my fault you were born without %%(!*!) ridges.' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: The DM of +4 Ohana
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Swearing, foreplay, references to IRL childhood angst, corruption of the youth
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon[athan], Olivia, Kristen, Demetri, Wyatt, Sam(/Jason)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Trouble threatens to break up the most beautiful gay dog-grooming couple in all of 1980's California. Can Olivia, with the help of her quirky multi-ethnic posse, figure out a way to save it?

Or, more seriously: a story about three people trying to find a way to balance each other out, plus the friends who play D&D with them.

( 'Their love is beautiful and true like a Disney movie. Stephen even has pretty princess eyelashes! They're meant to be!' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: E.B.B.G.A.S-T-T-F.F.
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Olivia
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Based on this video in which Olivia introduces her charity work, and clearly foreshadows her destiny to one day have "Stephen" as an arch-nemesis. (Or at least a foil.)

( 'What are you even doing here?' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: May The Horse Be With You
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, animals
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Written for the picture prompts thread, in which [personal profile] w_thit gave me this.

The background of the setting is an AU I've been kicking around in my head. Late eighties; slight fudging of ages, but not much. Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are running their upscale dog salon in California, and have started to bond with kid!Olivia, who lives nearby. (Olivia goes to school with kiddie versions of some of the other correspondents, but that doesn't come up in this bit.)

( The girl made a beeline for the door, quickly enough that she didn't see Jonathan wince (and Lady McPawsington try to claw him for mishandling her, though he had wisely clipped her nails first thing). )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Prawn Today, Hair Tomorrow
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Rounding the week off with a belated fill for the prompt "Irresistible," from [livejournal.com profile] colbertstark6.

( 'Don't lie. You've been checking out my hair all morning.' )
erinptah: (Maggie)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Cougar Hunting
Rating: G (dart guns are G-rated, right?)
Cast: Kristen, Olivia, Sam
Disclaimer: Work of parody. Not real; not mine.

Inspired by this segment: Kristen takes Olivia on a hunt for the most dangerous game.

'Are you ready?' )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Daily Show
Subject: Kristen Schaal/Olivia Munn
Title: You Were Born For Stardom's Crown

Olivia's fiery hotness often obscures the fact that she is a raging geek. Kristen is an adorable ginormous dork even when she's writing a sex book. Now watch me turn these facts into a shippy mix about Olivia's ascent to TDS, in defiance of the fact that they have yet to appear on screen together.

Graphic textures from this site. High-res cover art here.



( I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change. What if you're normal and wanna be strange? )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
[personal profile] ptahrrific
Title: Castle Walls (7/8)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, everyone and the kitchen sink
Warnings: Lots of fire, (skip) Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

Pay no attention to the slapdash nature of the legalese in this part. (Hopefully you weren't reading this for the law drama, either.)

(Crossposting directly from the fic account, as I'm on a borrowed computer and can't be switching in and out much.)

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Kristen and company bring the pwn, but the last trap isn't sprung yet. )
erinptah: (winding road)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (6/8)
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, Jason, OCs
Warnings: (skip) Sexual assault
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The villains' appearances and some of their lines are pulled from this incident (videos here; partial transcription here). Yes, it's another Thinking and Drinking with Lizz Winnstead; no, it did not go as well as Rachel Maddow's version.

Crois Dóiteáin is Gaelic, and means something like "cross of the blaze." Or, less poetically, "cross fire."

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Our heroes meet their captors, while their rescuers race against time. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (5/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, John/Larry, Sam/Jason
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

The honorifics are Japanese, or at least the American otaku versions thereof; -hime is "princess", -sensei is "teacher". Bunshinjutsu is a technique straight out of Naruto. The bit about Olivia's name is true.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Olivia and Stephen find themselves in deep trouble, while Jon and Kristen round up a search party. )
erinptah: (Default)
[personal profile] erinptah
Title: Castle Walls (4/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Drugging, kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, Sam, Lizz
Disclaimers: Follow the fake cut.

Lizz's outfit and mannerisms can be seen in this Thinking and Drinking interview, in which she and Rachel Maddow chat about the 2008 primaries and drink cheap beer. It's a bit like IRL crack.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Jon is run ragged, Kristen can't stop fretting, Stephen gets a civics lesson from a stranger in a bar, and Olivia is in more danger than she realizes. )
queenfanfiction: Caption "Is this an AU where they're all lobsters or do they have their pet lobsters fight their battles for them?" (Sherlock fanfic lobster!AU)
[personal profile] queenfanfiction
Title: Fish Tales
Author: [personal profile] queenfanfiction
Fandom: The Daily Show RPF
Rating: PG
Warnings: References to “plundering” and “ravaging” that do not involve actual pirates.
Summary: In which Olivia is a mermaid, Kristen didn’t really need that hat anyway, and there might be “The Little Mermaid” references.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Notes: Written for [personal profile] ptahrrific because she is a reallyreallyreally bad influence (if by “reallyreallyreally bad” you mean “AWESOME”). A companion story to her recent Kristen/Olivia fanart here.

( Fake cut leads to story at Dreamwidth )

[Crossposted to FNFF. Comments left either here or at DW appreciated. ♥ ]

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